Sidi-not so saintlY

What was once a loose network of blogs and anonymous forums rooted in pick-up artist culture has evolved into a sprawling ecosystem of podcasts, YouTube channels and influencers with millions of followers. So, prominent has it become that it is now the subject of documentaries, including Louis Theroux’s recent exploration of the phenomenon.

The manosphere is often described as a collection of online spaces centred on masculinity and the supposed need to reclaim it. Within it sit several overlapping subcultures: men’s rights activists, incels, “Men Going Their Own Way”, pick-up artists and fathers’ rights groups.

Spend any time in these spaces and a pattern quickly emerges. There is a palpable undercurrent of resentment that seeps through the screen, men shouting on livestreams, berating women on podcasts, repeating the same talking points. Suspicion of modern society. Hostility towards women. An obsession with sexual status and financial dominance. These are the altars at which many of these men appear to worship.

It would be easy to dismiss this as fringe content created by deluded misogynists. But the more important question is one of impact. What kind of future does this worldview create for women, for young men, and for society as a whole, if it continues to spread?

The rhetoric of leadership is everywhere in the manosphere. Influencers frequently describe men as the natural leaders of relationships and society. But leadership implies responsibility: guiding others, building something meaningful, protecting those more vulnerable.

Let’s look at what these men are actually leading.  Spoiler alert is mostly just their own self-interest and leading money out of the pockets of the most vulnerable in our society. 

The uncomfortable truth is that many of these voices are not speaking to grown men. They are speaking to boys.

Scroll through their audiences and you will often find teenagers, 13 or 14 years old, still forming their understanding of identity, relationships and masculinity. And what are they being taught?

Get rich quickly. Sleep with as many women as possible. Monetise relationships. Distrust women while exploiting them. Measure your worth in money and status.

This is not mentorship. It is a distortion.

Instead of guidance rooted in discipline, integrity and personal growth, young men are being sold a worldview based on dominance, manipulation and transactional relationships. It offers power without responsibility, and calls it masculinity.

Central to this ideology is the idea of “the Matrix”, a system supposedly designed to suppress men. Government, feminism, social institutions and even romantic relationships are framed as forces working against male success.

But the resentment often feels less like a critique of systems and more like frustration at not benefiting from them.

Because what is actually being offered as an alternative?

Another system built on the same foundations: money, status, control and exploitation. The very influencers claiming to liberate young men frequently replicate the most cynical aspects of the culture they criticise.

They sell courses, subscriptions and “insider knowledge” promising wealth, success and sexual access. The message becomes simple:

Escape the system—by buying into this one instead.

What presents itself as rebellion begins to look increasingly like a sales funnel.

The striking contradiction of the manosphere is women.

These men talk endlessly about women, how to attract them, control them, rank them. Stories of sexual conquest are treated as currency. “Game” becomes a language of manipulation and performance.

Women are reduced to numbers: “eights”, “nines”, “tens”.

And yet, the women they engage with are often a very narrow subset, primarily influencers or adult content creators. Entire worldviews are then built on these limited interactions.

At the same time, the very women they pursue are treated with open contempt. They are dismissed as “slags”, “tarts” or “clout chasers”—even while being central to the status these men seek.

Desire and disdain exist side by side.

Which raises an obvious question: if women are so unworthy, why is their attention treated as the ultimate proof of success?

Some influencers take this further, promoting ideas like “one-way monogamy”—where women are expected to remain loyal while men retain freedom. This is presented as wisdom, but to many it looks more like control dressed up as philosophy.

For a movement that prides itself on strength, much of its energy appears rooted in fear. Women are framed as manipulative, dangerous or disloyal. Their independence is not seen as progress, but as threat.

And yet, when these same men interact with powerful male figures—wealthy entrepreneurs, celebrities, dominant personalities, the tone often shifts. The aggression softens. Respect replaces hostility.

At times, it borders on reverence.

Which raises another uncomfortable possibility: perhaps this isn’t about strength at all. Perhaps it’s about knowing where it is safe to direct it, and punch down rather that punch up.

The most troubling aspect of the manosphere is not the influencers themselves, but the audience they attract.

Many followers appear to be young men who feel lost, isolated or overlooked. They are searching for guidance—a father figure, a mentor, someone to help make sense of a confusing world. What they are sold is a culture so deeply performative, where Image is everything.

Luxury watches. Fast cars. Private jets. Endless signals that success must be visible, and expensive.

But the quieter markers of a meaningful life, honesty, emotional maturity, kindness, stability, are almost entirely absent. Relationships are not presented as partnerships, but as conquests. Not as sources of connection, but as status symbols. Looking successful becomes more important than being grounded or ethical.

Even when that success is exaggerated, rented or entirely fabricated.

The Real Question

The issue is not simply that controversial influencers exist. The internet has always amplified extreme voices.

The real question is why their message resonates so strongly.

What gap is being filled? What absence in society is allowing this version of masculinity, transactional, performative, adversarial, to take hold in place of something healthier?

Because if the loudest voices shaping the next generation of men are teaching them that relationships are power struggles, that women are adversaries, and that success is measured purely by dominance.

Then the problem is bigger than the manosphere itself.

It is about the kind of society we are building; and if these truly are the men of the future, what hope do we have?